Good grades are important, but they are not the only reason for going to school. Learning is the reason for going to school. When lessons are well learned, good grades usually result.

Make clear that learning is your primary concern. Instead of asking what he or she thinks they will get on a math exam, ask your child to show you how to figure out one of the math problems.

Instead of asking how your child will do on a book report ask them to describe a challenge faced by the main character.

Below are some more examples of questions that test deeper learning.

* What were common factors in causing the three wars studies this year in history?

* Tell me a way in which you became a stronger writer this year?

* Which of your science experiments interested you the most? Why?

Asking questions like these demonstrate to your teen that you find learning to be both exciting and worthwhile.

If your child is falling behind at school you might consider getting a tutor.

a tutor can reinforce what's taught and can teach needed study skills.

Children with learning disabilities can also get the practice they may need to master certain skills.

Children often become more self-confident students after being tutored.

When choosing and working with a tutor it is important to talk to your child first about how a tutor might help them academically. Parents should also get recommendations about what kind of tutor would be best for their child and who might be available. Teachers at your child's school are often the best sources of information.

It is also important to involve your child in this process. When you interview a tutor have your child involved. See who best suits your child's personality and learning style.

Children learn important lessons when families volunteer together. They learn about kindness. They see citizenship in action, and they learn that people are often more alike than different. Teens who regularly volunteer get better grades. they know more about future careers than those who don't.

Here are some tips to get your whole family involved.

* Decide on volunteer projects together as a family. Involve your children in making the choice. Even the youngest will see why its important for the entire family to help build a new playground. when children have a say in what the family does, they are more likely to pitch in .

* Start Small - try some one time projects at first. After a while you will find a schedule and a project that are the right fit for your family.

* Look for projects that let kids do something real. Kids know when they are doing "make work." At a soup kitchen children can help fold napkins and set tables while older children make sandwiches. Painting is another project that can involve everyone.

* Talk about what you do and see. Be sure to praise your children for things they do. "I was so proud of you when you carried the tray for that mother. she needed a hand."

Stress is part of everyone's life. But some days it seems like the stress level in families has gone through the roof. Here are some ways to avoid stress for yourself and your child.

* Look for signs of stress. If your child starts waking up at night or if you find yourself yelling more than you used to, stress could be the cause.

* Exercise is one of the best ways to relieve stress. Set aside 15-30 minutes to get some exercise with your kids. Take a walk. Ride bikes. Or go for a short run. You'll have fun and burn off some energy.

* Take care of yourself. You can't take care of your family if you don't have anything to give them. find a way to do something for yourself every day. One mother sat in the park for 15 minutes before she picked up her kids in the evening. Those few minutes of quiet time were what helped her greet her kids with energy and joy.

* Create a ritual for after school or work that sets a tone for the crest of the day and lets your reconnect. Set out some fruit or vegetables. Then, after 15 minutes or so, you can start fixing dinner while the children start homework or do chores.

* Choose. What's most important in life isn't having a house that could be in a magazine. If you have to choose between cleaning and cuddling, pick cuddling.